Showing posts with label tax returns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tax returns. Show all posts

Saturday, 21 March 2015

Budget 2015 comment


"i'm Abolishing annual tax returns".
Politicians empty waffle-speak. There's no substantive change.
Most punters still lumbered with filing annual stuff with HMRCy.

Most of us do it onslime anyway already, especially eeeeasy when using a fantabulous firm of chartered accountants like abell morliss international !


Wednesday, 8 January 2014

SA Tax Return filing rush problem solved

Get HMRCy to bring the deadline forward to 30th November. Think it through......

When do clients do anything? Only in Sept-Nov because they are BUSY BUSY people the rest of the year, and we have to FIT IN. Full details of my reasoning are below:-

Jan  getting over Christmas, check over skiing gear

Feb skiing

Mar Spring soon, leaf through some holiday brochures

Apr yo, can walk outside again, see if that Bistro has put some tables back outside

May dig out the barbie

Jun tennis

Jul Ibitha

Aug Zakanthos

Sep

Oct

Nov

Dec yo partytime

etc.....

As you can see three is a solid three month window where we have their un-divided attention, and indeed ours also.

This simple change would also mean i could enjoy Christmas, and not have to keep rushing in to the office to shuffle papers and cheer the troops on.

What's not to like?

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

VAT onslime regn

Vat onslime regn

This is almost impossible however there is a way……………..

1. you need a copy of the VAT certificate showing EFFECTIVE DATE of regn.
2. regd. number of the company
3. address that APPEARS on VAT returns
4. a copy of the last VAT return showing BOX 5 amount
5. oh, and your Vat number

Needless to say u only have to get one of the 5 secrets wrong, and regn fails….grrrr!

and you might need to do all this twaddle as well if not already online with HMRCy……
5. go to government gateway, and register the business as an organization
6. save the screen with the user id
7. annotate on it the password which is always to be abellmorliss
8. use the secrets answers on attached sheet
9. wait for the toot from HMRC to arrive
10. then login again on govt portcullis and authorise aml as agent per attached sheet



Our letter to our clientele runs.....

The government in their infinite wisdom, want us all to join the online community for all statutory communications. This now includes VAT returns. In future this has to be done online unless you are a business with sales less than £100k pa. The deadline for registering is ………..NOW

Sadly the collateral damage is that the ‘customers’ (taxpayers) have to jump through a million teeedious hoops to register for filing VAT.

We as your loyal/trusty/servile advisors will do all the grunt for you, but we need you to sign here………………../email us your consent to a (modest) fee of £200 for doing the extra work for you. You evade this by doing it yourself - you may suffer from Alopecia before completing this successfully.

We warn you in advance that our usual friendly advice service does not include helping you with this unless you agree the fee first – if you do it, we will only charge £195 for the telephone support – and we promise not to laugh at the sound of your screaming at the other end of the phone as you register.



Yours ever obediently

Obadiah Scriggens & Co.

Thursday, 25 March 2010

ranting...

The Taxpayers Charter
...it's soooo grate.

Extract from letter sent to Chief Sec to Treasury.
Did i get a reply? guess

You are quoted as endorsing the vacuous Charter recently launched concerning tax-payers. I find it difficult to believe that you have actually read this document, and your endorsement gives the document a veneer of respectability it so really does not deserve.

I set out below the beginnings of a meaningful charter with some hard points in it that would challenge those running HMRC to be genuinely concerned about taxpayers basic rights. This was submitted to the tax website where you are quoted as endorsing the charter ( http://www.taxationweb.co.uk/tax-news/hmrc/hmrc-launch-new-charter.html ).

There is sooooooo little here it is a lie to call it a “Charter”. And the header “what businesses dealing with HMRC can expect from the department” is a laugh. What planet do these suits inhabit? I was hoping for something along the lines of……

HMRC believes in treating taxpayers fairly. In order to achieve this we will:-

1. ensure all tax offices are open between 08.30-18.00 m-f
2. direct access to local vat offices will be restored so that taxpayers can talk to someone about specifics on their business rather than inaccurate chat
3. outside these times national contact centres for each main discipline will take enquiries, and be able to access tax payers records
4. all correspondence received will be at least acknowledged with a specific case officer reference within 14 days of receipt, this will include VAT registrations.
5. no incoming mail will be ignored
6. an email communication system will be installed by xx 2010 for tax payers to communicate with us.
7. The 64-8 form will be re-designed into ‘english’, and allow tax payers to indicate simply which methods of communication and tax areas agents will be authorised for. HMRC will cease the practice of throwing away every other 64-8.
8. All tax departments will publish on the central website an index of telephone numbers, which will include a ‘real’ telephone number so that mobile phone users can call them without it costing a fortune on 0845/0800 numbers. This will include all government departments so that tax payers ACTUALLY get a choice as to whether they ring the landline number or the 0845 number.
9. This will also contain a fax number for each office.
10. All fax machines will be kept operating, the practice of turning them off or having no paper in to fob off taxpayers will cease. When a tax payer rings up and says “your fax machine is not working three times” we will no longer ignore the taxpayer or tell him to “just keep trying”, we will investigate the problem and rectify it without delay.
11. all staff required to have telephone contact with taxpayers will have a good conversational command of English, and be able to express themselves clearly on the telephone, and will have a basic knowledge of UK geography.
12. The pernicious loan shark rates of interest masquerading as “penalties” charged on late vat payments are to be abolished as soon as the regulations can be laid. In future all late payments of tax will attract a uniform late rate of 6% above BOE Base Rate.
13. all telephone systems will no longer refuse calls when busy. The queuing systems will ensure that calls are dealt with on arrival basis not at random. Our target for picking up a call and talking to you is “within 30 secs”. The performance of every tax office against this standard will be published in a national league tenable. If Euston Corporation Tax Office and Sefton Employers PAYE ever get off joint bottom of this table then we will know that real progress is being made.
14. If any caller wishes to make a complaint, our staff will no longer wriggle and squirm to avoid allowing the complaint. They will, without argument, put the person through to a complaints team WHO WILL ACTUALLY BE KEEN TO RESOLVE THE COMPLAINT and (take over the phone) full details and make sure the query is dealt with professionally. Our complaints helpsheet will in future also contain a central complaints contact address/telephone/fax number so that we no longer make it as hard as possible to submit complaints.
15. Our online systems will no longer be “up-graded” across key filing dates e.g. 31st January.
16. our website indexing will be enhanced by faqs that answer REAL questions rather than just puffing out propaganda. If the answer to an faq is ‘no’ then we will tell the truth in future instead of weasling around.
17. We want tax-payers to file everything electronically with us. We are allocating online filing credentials to all tax-payers, and will send these to you. For example so that no one will ever have to fight the onslime VAT system again just to file a vat return. In future all filings will be eeeeasy to do.

In return we expect taxpayers to treat our staff with respect, and deal with them honestly.

I may have a missed a few points?

VAT onslime regn

Vat onslime regn

This is almost impossible however there is a way……………..
1. you need a copy of the VAT certificate
2. regd. number of the company
3. address that APPEARS on VAT returns
4. a copy of the last VAT return as they want the Box 5 figure

Needless to say u only have to get one of the 5 secrets wrong, and regn fails….grrrr!

and you might need to do all this twaddle as well if not already online with HMRCy……
5. go to government gateway, and register the business as an organization
6. save the screen with the user id
7. annotate on it the password which is always to be ploka3018
8. use the secrets answers on attached sheet
9. wait for the toot from HMRC to arrive
10. then login again on govt portcullis and authorise aml as agent per attached sheet

CIS is a laugh....

their online filing software broadly accepts anything, as long as you can get a Contractor verified first.

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

UTR

Now that you have returned from that looong summer on the yacht, and are focusing on the more mundane things in life (or should be)...

Why not get your tax return out of the way before you slumber under the Christmas Tree? Unfortunately the massive problem stopping you responding to all those expensive adverts urging attending to this annual task, is often "what's my UTR malc?"
No UTR= can't file your tax return! NiNo is not enough anymore.

Sadly the ONLY way to get this is to call in to any tax enquiry office or telephone HMRC and ask them for it. Apparently these references are sooooo sensitive they cannot be uttered over our communications network in any form, so they will write to you with it. Security is such an issue that if they have written to you demanding a tax return they are not permitted to put your utr on the request, only your NiNo.

When you call them don't get side-tracked into a massive quiz "why do you want it, maybe you don't need to do a tax return"? etc. Just firmly tell them that "you know you want to do a tax return so hand the xxxx thing over without wasting more of my time".

who needs to do a tax return?
anyone who has been asked for one by hmrc. how do i know? - ring them up.....
all company directors
all higher-rate taxpayers
anyone with income from property/lettings
anyone with significant investment/dividend income
anyone with capital gains e.g. flogging your barclays shares for £600m. profit after 8 months
anyone with income from overseas, whether or not already taxed
anyone who has income the inland revenue don't know about